The Silent Childcare Crisis: Crippling Costs for “Working Mothers”– Financial and Emotional

By: Courtney Irwin

I’d like to start by saying children are not a burden– they are our next generation. Next, I’d like to ask a couple of questions: 

Have you ever heard the term “working dad”? I haven’t. 

If you’re a father– have you ever been asked if having children will affect your ability to perform your job? As a “working mom,” I have. 

If you’re a father– have you ever been asked if you’re able to travel for your job? As a “working mom,” I have. 

The expectations are wildly different, and they deserve (correction– demand) attention. Sadly these discrepancies disproportionately affect working mothers, who are caught in this tangled web of battling for their career, soaring costs and limited options. The struggle to balance work and family life is more than just a personal challenge; it's a societal concern. 

Call it an opinion, but working moms are the backbone of our society, contributing to the workforce and the economy all while managing their households (shoutout to the dads who help). Add to that the escalating costs of childcare, and what we’re left with is a perfect storm capable of crippling our abilities to maintain a balanced life. 

Disproportionate Effect on Mothers 

In early 2018, I had three kids under three (boy was that a wild ride). Since then, I’ve experienced a handful of sour interviews defined by offensive questions– i.e. the ones I asked above. Could I perform my job with young children? Would I be able to travel with kids at home?

I’m not denying the strides in gender equality, but there is still so much work to do. If you’re a working mom, you can confirm there are still subtle yet pervasive differences in how moms and dads are treated. These inequalities (often unintentional) can have far-reaching consequences for everyone. Frankly, no mother should feel forced to choose between her career and her family's well-being. 

Moms are often assumed to be the primary caregivers, leading to assumptions that they may not be as committed to their jobs or that they will need more flexibility. In contrast, fathers are frequently viewed as breadwinners, and their dedication to work is often unquestioned. Women are also expected to be sweet and bubbly– how cute (cue the eyeroll). Ever notice how men receive nods of approval for assertiveness, while women are met with stares as if we’ve just recited Shakespeare in Klingon? 

We haven’t even touched on mom guilt– it’s real. Women tend to face more scrutiny when taking time off for family reasons. We’re perceived as less committed, whereas fathers are praised for their involvement in family matters, leading to a more supportive environment for them. Dads are praised for attending their kid's events; moms are merely expected to always be available. 

You know what else doesn’t help? The outrageous cost of childcare. Sure, we could go into the, “well don’t have kids if you can’t afford them” argument, but that’s a rabbit hole for another day. 

With eight years of momming experience under my belt, here's what I've observed:

1. Skyrocketing Costs: The cost of childcare has been on a relentless upward trajectory, quite literally surpassing the cost of college tuition in some states. For many families, these expenses become a significant portion of their income. For nearly three years, my family spent upwards of $35,000 a year on childcare. I halted 401k contributions, and made every effort to increase my take-home pay in order to simply buy groceries after the cost of childcare. 

2. Limited Availability: Quality childcare facilities are not only expensive but also in short supply. Waitlists for daycare centers are lengthy, and finding a trustworthy and affordable caregiver is a daunting, borderline frightening, task. This scarcity forces many working mothers into a corner, either settling for subpar childcare options or sacrificing career aspirations altogether. If you’re questioning the validity of this, call a local daycare center and ask what their wait is– your heart might sink.

3. Career Stagnation: Balancing a demanding job and family responsibilities becomes increasingly challenging when childcare options are limited. Many working mothers are forced to reduce their working hours, take lower-paying jobs with more flexible schedules, or even leave the workforce entirely. This stagnation in their careers not only harms their financial prospects but also hampers their professional growth. Why doesn’t dad stay home? Probably because he’s earning more thanks to the gender wage gap.

Don’t believe a gender wage gap exists? As an individual married to someone in the same industry– I can confirm it does. Women are forced to accept lower-paying jobs or part-time work to accommodate their caregiving responsibilities. What does this result in? A diminished lifetime earning potential and lack of financial security. On a broader scale, we also experience loss of skilled and experienced women from the workforce, harming productivity and economic growth. It also deeply deprives industries of a diverse talent pool. 

Look, I’m not denying strides have been made towards gender equality in the workplace– but there are still glaringdisparities. Arising from deeply ingrained societal norms and expectations, we have to work as a society to reframe how we view and treat women, recognizing and addressing these differences to create a more equitable work environment where all parents– regardless of gender, can balance their careers and family responsibilities without facing bias or discrimination. 

Achieving true equality means challenging and dismantling these stereotypes and biases, benefiting not only moms and dads but also workplaces and society as a whole.